i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
