It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
