i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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