Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize