just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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