corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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