You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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