Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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