i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
