Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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