im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
