I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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