Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
