I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
