Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
