4 words: hood of his car
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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