my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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