sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
