there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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