ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
foreskin is a definite game changer
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
