Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
