nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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