Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize