Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
