How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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