I'm really into asian looking animals
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
