He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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