well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Rumble strips road head = magical
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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