just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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