We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
