Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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