i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
