I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
