i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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