Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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