just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
