the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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