found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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