How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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