If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
