Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
