I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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