He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
