Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
