what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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