I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
