So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.