Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.