i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro