i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
