Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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