if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
