Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
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Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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