escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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