I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
There's even glitter on my cock...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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