ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize