How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
