I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
