Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
