So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
