so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
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you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
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somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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