tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize