On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
