Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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