i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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