Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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