I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
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Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
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Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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