wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
